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Thread: Commonly found people and comments in various forums on the Internet

                  
   
  1. #1
    Senior Member AlfaEric's Avatar
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    Typical Automotive Forums

    Commonly found people and comments in various forums on the Internet...

    Mercedes forum
    - My wife and her a-hole lawyer are trying to ruin me in divorce court.
    How do I get them both killed and not get in trouble with my medical board?

    Bentley Forums
    - I used the ash tray today. How do I replace it?

    Camaro/Firebird Forums
    - My girl slept with my brother and my wife. How can I kill 'em? btw, I
    have a record and I ain't going back.

    Mustang forums
    -Some punk kid in a Civic tried to race me.

    Monte Carlo forums
    -Why do I keep getting pulled over, it ain't stolen yo.

    Civic forums
    -Some punk kid in a Mustang tried to race me.

    VW Bug forum
    - The Save the Earth concert was a success (pics)

    Yugo Forum
    - When's the last time yours ran?

    Lamborghini forum
    - Wind noise around 210MPH

    Miata forums
    - Some redneck jackass in a Chevy Tahoe just ran over my car (pics)

    Chevy Tahoe forum
    - Are gas prices going down any time soon?

    Pontiac Fiero forum
    - Just bought a new flame retardant suit (pics)

    BMW 7-series forum
    - Where to get service on my Rolex?

    Cadillac forum
    - Problems parallel parking at bingo.

    Buick Forum
    - Is Medicare or Medicaid right for me?

    Delorean forum
    - Just got back from the future and blew a head gasket. Please help. I'm from 1985.

    Crown Victoria forum
    - How come people don't never pass me on the highway?

    Honda Accord forum
    - Mom is giving me the car. Looking for some cheap, used 18 inch rims.

    Toyota Echo forum
    - Do our cars use AAA or AA's?

    Ferrari forums
    - Need suggestions about a business trip to Columbia. Want to get in and out fast.

    Porsche forums
    - Tire just went flat. Is it best to trade or sell the car myself?

    Saturn forums
    - Roman candle landed on my fender. Melted and need to replace.

    Jaguar
    - Is the carbon fiber dash kit group-buy still on?

    Mini
    - Just flipped the Cooper after seeing The Italian Job. Suing the movie company. (pics)

    Dodge Viper forum
    - I frightened myself on the way home from work yesterday. How to get pee stains out of the leather?

    McLaren F1 forum
    -Some punk kid in a F16 tried to race me.

    Dodge Minivan forum
    - Where's the best place to post the soccer schedule so I don't forget where I'm supposed to be?

    Hummer forum
    - Had a fender bender today. 24 hurt, 10 killed. Do I have to get the black touch-up paint from the dealer? He's 25 miles away. That's $35 in gas.

    Fiat forum
    -Hello? Am I the only member?

    Subaru WRX forum
    - I hate cops. Got ticketed for drifting in the Walmart parking lot.

    Chevy pickup forum
    - How do I git the dried tobacco juice stains off the side of mah truck?

    SRT Forums..
    "Will this void my warranty?"

    RX7 Forums
    - 13B Groupbuy full, stop PM'ing me.

    DSM Forums
    -Transmission Groupbuy Full stop PM'ing me

    Supra Forums
    -Head to big to fit in car, should have bought a Targa.

    Vette Forums
    -Why did I pay $50k for something with a Cavalier Steering wheel

    Ford 2.3 forums
    -Help! Replaced everything, still doesn't start


    Single handedly lowering the pax for MT

  2. #2
    good one Eric

  3. #3
    Senior Member SMOODY's Avatar
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    That reminds me of this:

    What a Car Really Says About Its Owner

    Acura Integra- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
    Acura Legend- I'm too bland for German cars
    Acura NSX- I am impotent
    Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires
    Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states
    Cadillac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
    Cadillac Seville- I am a pimp
    Chevrolet Camaro- I enjoy beating up people
    Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette
    Chevrolet Corvette- I'm in a mid-life crisis
    Chevrolet El Camino- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
    Chrysler Cordoba- I dig the rich Corinthian leather
    Datsun 280Z- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
    Dodge Dart-I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
    Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
    Ford Escort - I'm a red-headed nanny
    Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart)
    Ford Mustang- I slow down to 85 in school zones
    Ford Crown Victoria- I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change lanes when I pull up behind them
    Geo Storm- I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
    Geo Tracker- I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
    Honda del Sol- I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
    Honda Civic- I have just graduated and have no credit
    Honda Accord- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
    Infiniti Q45- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
    Isuzu Impulse-I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
    Jaguar XJ6-I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
    Kia Sephia- I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp.
    Lincoln Town Car- I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
    Mercury Grand Marquis- (See above)
    Mercedes 500SL- I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.
    Mercedes 560SEL- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole.
    Mazda Miata- I do not fear being decapitated by an 18- wheeler
    MGB- I am dating a mechanic
    Mitsubishi Diamante- I don't know what it means either
    Nissan 300ZX- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
    Oldsmobile Cutlass- I just stole this car and I'm going to make a....
    Peugeot 505 Diesel- I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
    Plymouth Neon- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
    Pontiac Trans AM- I have a switchblade in my sock
    Porsche 944- I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
    Rolls Royce Silver Shadow- I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal
    Saturn SC2- (See Honda Civic)
    Subaru Legacy- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more
    Toyota Camry- I am still in the closet
    Volkswagon Beetle- I still watch Partridge Family reruns
    Volkswagon Cabriolet- I am out of the closet
    Volkswagon Microbus- I am tripping right now
    Volvo 740 Wagon- I am frightened of my wife
    2001 330i (my car)
    2004 Audi Allroad (wife's car and family truckster)

  4. #4
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    McLaren F1 forum
    -Some punk kid in a F16 tried to race me.
    ROFL!
    2006 GMC Sierra 2500HD 4WD Duramax LBZ/Allison 6-speed
    2002 BMW M3 - Alpinweiss III/Black
    1999 323i KP/GTS2 - Alpinweiss III (Black Hood, other stuff)
    1990 325is - Brilliantrot/Tan
    1989 325is - Alpinweiss II/Black (S50B32)
    1989 M3 - Alpinweiss II/Black (S62B50 in progress)



  5. #5
    Senior Member SMOODY's Avatar
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    And let us not forget the ever popular:

    BMW

    Babbling Mechanical Wench
    Beastly Mechanical Wonder
    Big Money Waste
    Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
    Bought My Wife
    Brings Me Women
    Break My Window
    Broken Monstrous Wonder
    Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
    Big Money Works
    Brutal Money Waster
    2001 330i (my car)
    2004 Audi Allroad (wife's car and family truckster)

  6. #6
    Senior Member AlfaEric's Avatar
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    ACURA:
    Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
    Asia's Curse Upon Rural America

    AMC:
    All Makes Combined
    A Major Cost
    A Mutated Car
    A Morons Car
    Another Major Catastrophe

    AUDI:
    Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
    Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
    Automobile Under Demonic Influence
    Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
    Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
    Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.

    BMW:
    Big Mormon Wagon
    Big Money Works
    Bought My Wife
    Brutal Money Waster
    Break My Window
    Break My Windshield
    Babbling Mechanical Wench
    Beastly Monstrous Wonder
    Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
    Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
    Barely Moving Wreck
    Big Money Waste
    Big Money. Why?
    Big Money Works
    Born Moderately Wealthy
    Breaks Most Wrenches
    Bring More Wrenches
    Brings Me Women
    Brings More Women
    Broken Money Waster
    Broke My Wallet
    Broken Monstrous Wonder
    Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
    Blasphemous Motorized Wreck

    BUICK:
    Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
    Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King

    CHEVROLET:
    Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
    Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
    Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
    Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

    DODGE:
    Drips Oil & Drops Grease Everywhere
    Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
    Dead Old Dog Going East
    Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
    Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
    Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
    Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
    Dear Old Dads Garage Experiment
    Daily Overhauls Do Get Expensive

    EDSEL: Every Day Something Else Leaks

    FIAT:
    Failed Italian Automotive Technology
    Fix It Again, Tony!
    Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation

    FORD:
    Frigin' Old Rebuilt Dodge
    Fix Or Repair Daily
    Found On Road Dead
    Fast Only Rolling Downhill
    First On Race Day
    First On Recall Day
    Fabricated Of Refried Dung
    Fails On Rainy Days
    Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
    Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
    Fault Of R&D
    Finally Obsolete Racing Device
    Fireball On Rear Denting
    First On Road to Dump
    First On Rust and Deterioration
    Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
    Flipping Over Results in Death
    Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
    Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
    Foot On Road Decelerates
    Forced On Reluctant Drivers
    Formed Of Rejected DNA
    Forwarded Once; Return Denied
    Forward Only; Reverse Defective
    Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
    Fork Over Repair Dough
    Fouled Out Re-done Dodge
    Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
    Free Or Reduced Drastically
    Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
    Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
    Funny Old Rattling Dump
    (backwards) Driver Returns On Foot

    GEO: Good Engineering Overlooked

    GM:
    General Maintenance
    Great Mistake
    Garbage Motors
    Generally Miserable
    Grossly Misconceived
    Gluteus Maximus

    GMC:
    Garage Man's Companion
    Gotta Mechanic Coming?
    Generally Mediocre Cars
    Get More Chicks
    Gets Mechanics Crazy
    Gods Mechanical Curse
    Got More Crap
    Great Mountain Climber
    Great Motor Car

    GTO: Gas, Tires, Oil

    HONDA:
    Had One Never Did Again
    Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
    Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles
    Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles

    HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...

    JEEP:
    Just Eats Every Part
    Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
    Just Empty Every Pocket

    MAZDA: Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

    MG: Money Guzzler

    MGB: Might Go Backwards

    MGF: Might Go Forward

    MIATA: My Intention: Always To Accelerate

    MOPAR:
    Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
    Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
    Most Often Passed At Races
    Mostly Old Parts And Rust
    Move Over People Are Racing
    Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly
    My Old Pig Ain't Running
    My Only Problems Are Repairs

    MUSTANG: Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good

    OLDSMOBILE: Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

    PINTO:
    Put In Nickel To Operate
    Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook

    PLYMOUTH: Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood

    PONTIAC: Poor Old Numbskull Thinks Its A Cadillac

    PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything

    SAAB:
    Send Another Automobile Back
    Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
    Sad Attempt At Beauty
    Sorry Auto, Always Broken
    Shape Appears Ass-Backwards

    SUBARU: Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually

    TOYOTA:
    Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
    Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
    The One You Ought To Avoid

    TRIUMPH:
    This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
    Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!

    VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

    VW: Virtually Worthless


    Single handedly lowering the pax for MT

  7. #7
    Senior Member AlfaEric's Avatar
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    I just realized the original list was missing Alfa. So I borrowed these from an Alfa site.

    ALFA:
    Always Looking For Another
    A Life Fulfilling Addiction
    Avoid the Legendary Fume Asphyxiation
    Always Looking For A ride home
    Always Leaking Fluids Anywhere
    A Lively F***ing Automobile
    Always Looking For Adventure
    Another Lonely Foreign Automobile
    Abbreviated Legs, Far-reaching Arms
    Addiction Leaches Funds Away
    Affordability Lessons Ferrari Aspirations
    Adorable Little Foreign Auto
    Andiamo Lesti Fumando Assai
    (We go fast, making a lot of smoke)

    ---Eric


    Single handedly lowering the pax for MT

  8. #8
    Senior Member SharkD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlfaEric
    Mustang forums
    -Some punk kid in a Civic tried to race me.
    That's spot-on. Back when my '65 actually ran, kids with Hoover-powered Civics would try to race me all the time at stoplights. LOL

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by AlfaEric
    I just realized the original list was missing Alfa.
    Also forgot Lotus: Lots of Trouble, Usually Serious

  10. #10
    Senior Member AlfaEric's Avatar
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    ...a few more...

    CADILLAC:
    Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars

    CAMARO:
    Can't Americans Make A Real One?

    CHEVY:
    Can Have Everyone Violently Yakking
    CHarged HEaVilY
    Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
    Continues Having Emissions Violations Yearly
    Cruddy Hick Engine, Very Yucky
    Crap Hidden (in) Every Vast Yard

    IROC:
    I Race Other Cars
    I Run Over Children
    I'd Rather Own a Corvette
    I'm Really Out of Cash
    It's Really Only a Camaro
    Italian Retard Out Cruising


    MB:
    Mechanics Beware
    Money Bleeder

    MINIVAN:
    Manhood Is Not Intact, Vasectomized And Neutered

    MITSUBISHI:
    Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete


    Single handedly lowering the pax for MT

  11. #11
    My favorites:

    CHRYSLER:

    Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair.

    FORD:

    Ford Oil Ruins Driveways (this one is recursive)

    So appropriate!
    Are you sure it was something you read, Peter? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?

  12. #12
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    I love Fix It Again, Tony!, and it's so true! I fell in love with a '74 124 Spyder, owned by a sailor returning from overseas in 1978, burnt orange in color. In the course of the next two years I fixed or replaced every single electrical item on the beast. I was happy to give it away at the end, and was thrilled that a nice family looking for a stylish car to send their daughter off to school in bought it. Father and mother drove Mercedes, so I had no qualms when it went. I made sure I moved shortly thereafter.
    Rich

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